Brexiter’s excuses increasingly bollocks

A MAN’S excuses for problems clearly caused by Brexit are getting increasingly desperate.

‘Leave’ voter Martin Bishop has been struggling to convince people that all the bad things experts predicted were nonsense, due to them all starting to happen.

Bishop said: “The pound has plummeted but that’s excellent news for exports and tourism. Think what a boost it will be to those souvenir stalls selling teddy bears dressed as Beefeaters.

“Yes, shares have lost billions in value, but that makes it easier for ordinary people to own them. Everyone agrees with that, except maybe if you’ve lost half your life savings.

“And it’s probably just a coincidence that loads of racist attacks occurred at the most nationalistic moment in recent history since the Falklands.”

Colleague Donna Sheridan said: “Martin thinks everything supports Brexit. Today he said making it harder to travel in Europe would ‘rejuvenate classic holiday resorts like Clacton-on-Sea’.

“He also said racism helps unite us all against racism. I really need him to shut up.”